


SAY VERY SOFTLY

by Karl5



Series: Kurt Darkholme Story Arc [5]
Category: Logan/Kurt - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 07:51:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karl5/pseuds/Karl5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Darkholme and Deadpool have one last fling</p>
            </blockquote>





	SAY VERY SOFTLY

**Author's Note:**

> And again, this is listed as Logan/Kurt Fandom in order that it may appear in the same place as the rest of the story arc, even though Logan is not in this one either.
> 
> After the events in Astonishing X-Men #59
> 
> Many thanks, once again, to Sundowhn, who wrote a large part of Wade’s dialog

**SAY VERY SOFTLY**

**“Tell this to all the world.  And then to me say very softly that she loves you not.”**

**From “Cyrano de Bergerac” by Edmond Rostand**

 

 

**I have barely ported away from Linda’s apartment and into the empty hotel room where I am now hiding, only to find it occupied by Wade Wilson, who lies stretched out on the bed, watching the TV.  Both my swords are already in my hands, even before I think of drawing them, while the scarf that I have taken from her closet falls to the floor unnoticed.**

**“Vade,” I demand, “vhat the hell are you doing here?”**

**"Whoa!  Easy there, pal.  I’m not here for a fight.”  He holds up both hands to show me they are empty of weapons.  All he has is the TV remote, which he aims at the screen, switching it off with a dramatic flourish and saying, “Bang!  Gotcha!”**

**“Then vhy are you here?”  Ignoring his nonsense, I replace my swords in their scabbards, but I do not drop my guard.  It could be a ruse.  He might be working for Logan.**

**“Good Samaritan that I am, I decided to let you know that you are in trou-BLE!” Wade points a finger at me and waggles it.**

**“Let me guess:  Logan is after me.”**

**Pointing both forefingers at me, he replies cheerfully, “Got it in one.  How’d you guess?”**

**“I saw him coming out of the last hotel in vhich I stayed, along vith a group of young X-Men.  None of them looked very happy.  I didn’t think he vas trying to find me in order to give me a medal for helping Mystique poison him.  I vas not even surprised to see him alive, since I never thought Daken vould be able to kill him anyvay.  After all, Logan is damn near indestructible, so vhat’s the big deal?”**

**Of course, I didn't mention that strange vision, or whatever it was, when Kurt Wagner told me about how things went after I betrayed Logan to Daken.  I wasn't absolutely certain that it had been anything more than a hallucination.**

**“** **The boy is a chip off the old block, remember?  Junior almost had him.”**

**That's not really news to me, but I act surprised anyway.  “How did he do that?”**

**“** **Whatever that stuff you helped Mystique hit him with did a real number on the tough old bastard. Then sonny-boy decided to put him in some whacko state-of-the-art fishbowl. You'd think it might take a little more to finish off our fearless leader, but it turns out that kid, Evan, had to break him loose. He was very nearly a goner.”**

**“Oh.”  I feel a twinge of regret at having almost been the cause of Logan’s death, but it barely makes a dent in the wall I have by now thrown up around my feelings.**

**“That’s all?  Just ‘Oh’?  I figured you’d be more upset over nearly getting him killed,” Wade remarks off-handedly.**

**I just shrug.  “Vhy?  Just because ve fucked a few times?”**

**“Yeah, that might be it.   And don’t try to tell me that’s all it was, because I know better.”**

**“Oh, do you now?  Next you vill be claiming I love you also, und for the same reason.”**

**“Uh-uh.  Apples and oranges, pal.  Or don’t you know what that means?”  When I say nothing, he goes on.  “Or maybe now that you’ve seen our version of your wife, Logan doesn’t matter to you anymore, huh?  She’s a looker, I’ll say that for her.”**

**“How do you know about Linda?”**

**“Oh, like you Krauts, I haf vays of finding tings out, vhen I vant to,” he replies, in a comic German accent.**

**I do not laugh, so he turns serious.**

**“All right, I do have a lot of contacts and ways of checking up on people, when I want to use them.  So anyway, I was there watching you in the park earlier.** **How’d it work out? Did you get you a little something-something?” He grins and rotates his hips suggestively.**

**“No.  Und I vill not.  She has a boyfriend.”**

**“I was going to clue you in on that, if you hadn’t found out already.  Guess I’m too late on that account too.”  He gives a deep dramatic sigh.  “The story of my life:  too little, too late.  Well, at least I tried.  Guess I’m just wasting my time here, since you seem to know everything already.”  He gets up from the bed.  “I’ll be going now.  Good luck, Kraut."**

**“Vait a minute.  There are some things I vould like to know.”  In truth, only things that I wanted to confirm from that vision.**

**“Like what, for instance?”**

**As he sits back down, I go a few steps closer.  “Vhat happened to Evan?”**

**“Oh, that's an easy one. The kid put on the doomsday threads, had a little shit fit that damn near blew the whole place apart, and managed to free our little Nemo while he was at it. Yours truly made it there in time to breathe life back into the not-so-invincible-after-all Wolverine.” Wade gives a comical bow. “I hunted down Betsy and took what was left of le Pew back to the ship. Let me tell you, _that_ wasn't a pretty sight.” Wade shakes himself, then continues. “Logan put his kid in a permanent time-out, face down in a puddle. Before Evan had a total Apoco-leptic tantrum, our fearless leader gave him a talking to and calmed him down. The kid carried him to the ship and we all lived happily ever after. End of fairy tale. “ He holds out his arms as if he's waiting for applause. **

**“So Evan did not –"**

**“—turn into a new version of old Appy?** **Nope, he ditched the suit and went back to school, just like a good boy.** **I dropped by to see him there not too long ago and he was doing fine.”**

**“I am – glad – to hear this.  At least something vorked out right.”**

**“That all you wanted to know?  If so, I’ll be on my merry way.  Don’t worry, I have no intention of ratting you out to Logan.”**

**“There is something else, Vade,” I reply, almost reluctantly, as I sit down on the bed not far from him.**

**“Well then, go ahead and spit it out.  I got places to go and things to do.”**

**“Vhy did you even bother to come und varn me?  After all, I betrayed the rest of the team also, by turning over our leader to the bad guys.”**

**“Yeah, well, you saved my sorry ass a few times.  So I figured I at least owed you one for that.  And we were kinda close there for a while, weren’t we?”**

**I nod my head.  “Ja.  Ve vere.  But Logan und I vere also close, und he now hates me enough to vant to kill me.  I can understand that he vould no longer be my friend after vhat I did.  But vhy vould he bother to pursue me?  I am no threat to him or the X-Men.”**

**“You really don’t have a clue?”**

**“If I did, vould I be asking you?”**

**“Okay, here’s how I see it.  I didn’t know the Kurt from our universe very well at all.  Hardly had anything to do with him.  But I did know his reputation and he was considered to be a damn nice guy.  It’s not surprising that Logan took his death pretty hard, even if they had only been good friends and not lovers, as most folks thought they were.”**

**“They vere definitely lovers.  I am sure of that.”  Unless, of course, I had only imagined the times when I had met up with that Kurt’s spirit, or ghost, or whatever it was, not to mention the things Logan told me.  “Und vhat has that to do vith me?  I am not Kurt Wagner.  I have never claimed to be him.  I have, in fact, done everything in my power to discourage everyone from thinking that I am him.”**

**“Uh – yeah – you sure have.  And sometimes not very diplomatically.”**

**“Diplomacy has never been one of my strong points.”**

**“You can say that again!”**

**“So vhy then does Logan vish to pursue me?”**

**“He said it's because you killed somebody in cold blood.” Wade cuts his eyes at me.**

**“Vhen?  Bobby had every chance to fight back, and so did the Blob.  Und even if I had, has Logan not done the same thing many times over?”**

**“You’re talking logic now, Kraut.  This has nothing to do with logic.  Do I have to spell it out for you?”**

**I am not sure how to answer that, so I say nothing.**

**“Okay, I guess I do.” Leaning forward, he holds up a hand in front of me, ticking off each point on a finger.  “A – you may not be Kurt Wagner, but you sure as hell look like him, 'cept you're into tatts and he wasn't. B – Logan loved the dude. C – You and all those sweaty nights of bump and grind kind of encouraged the old guy to start caring, you know?”**

**“I did not encourage him!” I interrupt vehemently.**

**“Did so.  You two had some pretty hot sex going on.  Don’t try to deny it, since I was there for some of it.”**

**“Hmph!  Sex is not love.  Even Logan has to know that.”**

**“Sure, he does.  But only in the rational part of his mind.  Trust me, there’s a lot more inside a person’s head than logic.”**

**“Even you realize I do not necessarily love you just because ve fucked now und then.”**

**“I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.  Of course, I knew.”**

**“Then vhy didn’t Logan?”**

**“** **Incentive, my thick-headed Kraut. I never loved the first Kurt, much less the second edition. Logan, on the other hand, was probably hoping he might be able to get back the man he lost. You know, that you might start loving him, too.”**

**“Vhy in God’s name vould he do that?”**

**“Duhh,” he says, shaking his head as if he simply cannot imagine such stupidity.  “** **Why'd you go looking for your sweetie-pie over here? Same difference.”**

**The realization hits me like the ton of bricks that Americans talk about.  I had so hoped she would somehow recognize me, fall in love with me.  Just looking at her tore at my heart.  I wanted her to be my Linda so that the bleeding ragged place where my heart should be might at last be filled.  “Mein Gott, you are right!  How could I not have seen that?”**

**“Same reason Logan can’t: you’re thinking with the part of your brain** **that doesn't want to let go of the person you loved.”**

**He scoots over closer and puts an arm around my shoulder, trying to offer comfort where there can be none.   “Cheer up.  Better men than us have felt the same way.  Why, I spent years before I could let go of my lost love, -- now** **what was her name again? Well, anyway,** **I can’t claim to be an exception to the rule either.  I could put it more romantically, as in you were thinking with your heart and not your head.** **Or more down to the nitty gritty, by replacing your heart with your prick,** **but it’s a pretty universal failing of the human mind, especially if you’re a dude.”**

**“So Logan now feels doubly betrayed, because of vhat I actually did, but also because I did not do vhat his Kurt vould have done, vhich vas to stand by him to the end, for the sake of loyalty und honor, but also for the sake of the love he had for him.  That’s vhat you are saying, ja?”**

**“Ja, mein lieber Kraut.  Ja.”**

**“Thank you, Vade.  It vas very good of you to make it clear to me vhat I am up against.”**

**He shrugs off my thanks, but his arm is still around my shoulder, embracing my crossed swords as much as he is embracing me.  Could this be a ruse, so he can draw one of those swords and have me at his mercy?  Is Wade as capable of betraying me as I was of betraying Logan?**

**“** **Now I’m going to ask you a question: when and if you and Logan do meet up again, how do you feel about maybe having to kill him, if it comes to it? And don't even try to tell me you don’t give a flying fuck about him. We both know that's a load of crap.”**

**“If he attacks me, I vill fight back.  But just now all I truly vant to do is go back to my own vorld.  It has become very clear that there is no place for me here, or at least no place that I vish to occupy.  I have taken my revenge on the two people that I hated most, if not everyone on my list.  Maybe there is no place left for me in my vorld either, but at least it is the vorld in vhich I belong und I still have friends there.  That is, if they’re still alive.”**

**“I can see that.** **So, how're you going to get there? It's not like you can take some kind of interdimensional taxi or something. Dude, from what I remember about that sweaty pit of a world, what the hell is left?”**

**“It vill not be easy.”  I give him what I know is a very crooked grin.  “If nothing else, at least I can go back home to die, can’t I?  Maybe that is all that is left for me there.  I do not care anymore.”**

**By now, the arm that was around my shoulder has slid down to my waist, no longer much of a threat to me.**

**“You don’t hate Logan for turning on you?” he asks.**

**“Nein.  I know him too vell to hate him.”**

**His hand slides down far enough to reach the base of my tail.  I feel his finger slowly stroke the fine fur on the top surface of my tail, just where it emerges from my uniform.  It feels nice.  Too nice.**

**“So,” he says gently, “I guess this is good-bye, huh?”**

**“Ja.  I guess so.  Vhy?  Vere you hoping for something more?”**

**I know I should pull away from him and ignore the caressing finger that has already ignited that glowing spark of desire inside me.  But I do not want to.**

**“I guess maybe I was,” he replies slowly, his other hand now reaching tentatively in the direction of my face.**

**“Und vhat else did you have in mind, mein verrückter Freund?”**

**“This,” he says, pulling me up against him and whispering in my ear, “One last time, for old times’ sake?”**

**In answer, I reach out to lift his mask up over his lips so that I can kiss him, but before I can do that, he pulls away suddenly, stands up, and turns his back to me, leaving me wondering what’s going on.**

**“Uh – Kraut, you sure you want to do this?”**

**“Vhy?  Vhat is wrong?”**

**“Well, I – uh – I lost my good looks again.”**

**“Oh.  Vell, have you at least gotten your healing factor back?”**

**“Yeah.  Seems like it’s always one or the other, with me.”**

**I am not sure how I should react to this, so I try something neutral, to keep him talking.  “Vhich vould you pick, if that is your only choice?”**

**As if he’s now on firmer ground, he says more confidently, “Considering what I do for a living, I should pick the healing part, huh?  Unless I had a death wish.  But, as the saying goes, ‘Been there, done that.’  There’s really no future in such a thing, you know.”**

**“I do know.”**

**“** **But it gets old being so fugly. I don't even want to look at myself! And man, talk about not getting any -- I parade around in my birthday suit and people run for cover. Talk about a wienie-wilter!” He shakes his head. “I don't even think you'd understand what that's like. I mean you're blue and kind of, well, weird looking, but you're still one helluva hot guy. Not like me.”**

**“I am not disgusted to look at you, mein Freund.  I have seen far too many truly horrible things in my life, und I have learned to look below the surface.”**

**”I’m not looking for love, Kurt.  I’ll gladly settle for someone who can** **touch me without hurling.”**

**I stand up, reaching around him to take his stiffening cock in my hand.**

**“I’m not looking for a mercy fuck either,” he adds.**

**I pull him closer, letting him feel my own erection.  “That is not vhat this is, don’t vorry.”**

**With something rather like a muffled sob, he covers his face with his hands.**

**“Vade, take off the uniform,” I tell him gently.  “I promise I von’t run avay screaming.”**

**He does.**

**I feel helpless without my swords, but there are some times when they just get in the way.  I port out of my clothes, leaving them to crumple to the floor, swords and all, so that I stand naked before him.**

**Without his clothing, Wade truly is horrible to look at.  It’s not just the outward appearance, which is bad enough, but also the fact that what is all too visible can only hint at the pain that must be caused by such a diseased and distorted body.  Yet I have told him I can accept such a thing, and I must do as I have promised, difficult or not.**

**Briefly, I recall how he looked the last time I saw him:  the handsome face and flawless body that should by rights be his, and I know all too well how he must feel when he looks in a mirror.  There are those you look at me and see only a monster, ignoring what is underneath.  And there are others who see me as a handsome and attractive, if strange, creature, ignoring the hatred and despair that disfigures me on the inside, where it cannot be seen.**

**So I must see what is beneath his loathsome surface and embrace the man beneath that surface, not only because I have said I would, but also because he has come here wishing to help me, when no one else would do so.  Just as we have shared some of our own pain together in the past, so now we will share a brief moment of pleasure.**

**As he watches me stand there hesitating, he asks uncertainly, “Sure you don’t want me to get back into uniform again?”**

**And I hear the echo of the question I have often felt on my own lips in this same sort of situation, I know how I must react.  Indeed, how I truly want to react.**

**Again, I step forward to embrace him, holding his misshapen body against my own and firmly kissing those ruined lips.  I resist the temptation to close my eyes and imagine what he once looked like.  I will instead look reality in the face and see it for what it is, even if it is as ugly as the foulest beast from hell.  For the true reality is that this man is still my friend, despite my betrayal of those I once called friends.**

**I will not betray his trust again.**

**As we kiss, his arms close around me, hanging on like a drowning man grabbing at his rescuer.  I slide my hands down over the lumps and sores on his back, clutching his buttocks and pulling his pelvis against mine.**

**He backs up just far enough to tilt us both backwards and onto the bed.  He disengages his mouth, but continues to kiss my face and throat, then licks his way down to my chest, stopping only to say, “Aw shit, Kraut, licking your fur is like licking a velvet dress.”**

**I almost laugh.  He is not the first person to tell me that. Then his lips clamp down on one nipple as his fingers squeeze the other hard enough to almost hurt.  I throw my head back and suck in a deep breath, as my cock reacts to what he’s doing.  Without a word, Wade moves down, taking me into his mouth as one hand continues to work on my nipple and the other slides beneath me, entering me roughly.  I take hold of his head and push him down harder onto my shaft until he is struggling not to choke, as I fuck his mouth hard.  My tail wraps itself around him automatically, pinning him in place.  The tension in my groin pulls tight and I know it is only a matter of seconds.**

**For just an instant, it seems to be Linda’s mouth enclosing my cock, her soft hair twined between my clutching fingers.  It is her slender and talented finger up my ass, stroking that lovely place inside, her smooth body that squirms urgently against the under surface of my tail, as it glides over and around her like a long blue snake.**

**In that instant, I let go, forcing my twitching cock deeper into her throat as I empty myself into that joyful ecstasy that is somehow always new and wonderful, no matter how often it happens.**

**Then she is gone, and it is once more Wade in my embrace, leaning over me and swallowing my cum as well as he can.**

**I relax and let him go, still seeing the edges of my vivid imagining.**

**“Shit, Kraut, you damn near dislocated my jaw,” he complains.**

**His remark slams me fully back into reality, which is probably a good thing, under the circumstances.   We both lie there for a minute, Wade working his abused jaws, me catching my breath.  I know he’s going to want me to get him off also, but I don’t know what he’d like me to do.**

**By now, the sun has long gone down and the room is dim and shadowed.  I consider turning on a light, then think better of it.  Wade would probably be more comfortable in the gathering darkness anyway.  He turns away from me, lying on his side.  I roll over next to him, placing an arm around his waist and holding him against me.  Slowly, I stroke his stomach with the back of my hand, the fur gliding sensuously against his skin.  As I approach his groin, he lays his own hand over mine, stopping my progress.**

**“Kurt, what I’d really like you to do –” he stops, as if uncertain as to whether this is something he really wants or if he thinks it’s something I wouldn’t be willing to do.  Taking a deep breath, his face still turned away from mine, he says, “Fuck me.”**

**“Are you sure?”**

**“Yeah.”**

**“Not afraid that vould turn you into a sissy boy?”  I ask lightly, referring back to our previous encounter, when he had seemed a bit uptight about such a thing.**

**“If it didn’t turn Logan into a sissy, it sure as hell won’t turn me into one.  Besides, I want to know what it’s like.  Maybe I’m missing out on something.”**

**“ Very vell.  But you vill have to give me some time to recover first.”**

**No hurry.  We got all night.  Unless you’ve got a hot date planned?”**

**I give him a short and bitter laugh, thinking of my shattered hopes of spending the night with this world’s Linda.  “No.  No hot date.  Not now.  Probably not ever.”  Pulling away from him, I sit up and stretch.  “How about a drink?  I have a small bottle of champagne in the refrigerator underneath the bar.”**

**“Champagne?  Whoa, you really know how to treat a guy, don’t you?  Sure you don’t have a box of chocolates hidden around here somewhere, or maybe a bunch of long-stemmed roses?”**

**“Sorry, no chocolate, no roses.”  Scrounging a couple of plastic glasses from the bathroom, I fill them both with my champagne.  Might as well drink it.  The alternative is to just leave it here when I go off to look for McCoy tomorrow.**

**By now, he’s sitting up in the bed, leaning against the headboard.  I lie down next to him, giving him a glass and taking a sip from my own.**

**“Umm, not bad stuff, Kraut,” he said as he sampled his.  Then he looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.   “This was supposed to be for Linda, wasn’t it?”**

**“Am I that transparent?”**

**“Yep.”**

**“I vas a fool to even think the Linda in this world might vant me,” I reply bitterly.  “Vhy vould any voman vant me?  There’s no love left in my heart, Vade.  Only anger und hurt und hatred.  Vhy vould anyone in their right mind vant that?”**

**“Your Linda loved you.”**

**“Vhen I vas vith her, I vas not like this.  Back then, I could still care.  Now?”  I just shake my head.  “Just as I vas a fool to think Logan –” I leave that hanging and take another swallow of my drink.  It is too painful to contemplate.  “I do not know how to love anymore.  My desire for revenge took over long ago.”**

**Wade says nothing, just lets me keep rambling on.**

**“Do you think my Linda vas some sort of shy maiden in bed?  I assure you, she vas not.  She vas a tiger, a spitfire, a voman who knew vhat she vanted und did not hesitate to take it.  Und I loved her for that, among many other things.  Our love-making vas often hard, rough, und just plain vicious.  Ve vere both sometimes bruised und bleeding by the time ve had had our fill of each other.**

**“Of course, ve could also be tender und caring, spending hours teasing each other’s lust until ve vere both ready to explode.  I could raise her up und let her down, over und over, using nothing but my fingers, und sometimes also my tail.  Und she could do the same to me, bringing me almost but not quite to climax, not letting me finish until I vas begging her for it.**

**“Ve vere neither of us innocent youngsters vhen ve married.  Our vedding vas our commitment to each other, not the beginning of our sex life."**

**“Sounds like my kind of woman,” he says, as I swallow another mouthful of the bubbly liquid.**

**“She alvays seemed to know precisely vhat I needed, vhether it was a release of anger or a need for comfort, or something in between.  At the time, I could not understand how she could know that, but now I am vondering if she might have been a mutant of some kind.  Here, in your vorld, I have heard that there are mutants vith the power to make others desire them, either by villed use of pheromones or some sort of empathic or telepathic ability. Perhaps there vas a bit of that in my Linda, even if she vas not quite avare of it. Possibly very low-level telepathy, as there vere times I seemed to know precisely vhat it vas she needed from me also, and I am not an overly empathic or sensitive man, under most circumstances.”**

**I have never told anyone about this before, so I don’t know why I suddenly feel the need to confide in this man.  Perhaps it is loneliness, or the fact that he has come close to earning my trust during the time I have spent in this world.**

**“** **You know, the Nazis did all kinds of experiments with mutant genes and humans. They were trying to make a super soldier or something,” he tells me. “That's what I heard, anyway. Your world had Nazis, didn’t it?”**

**“Ja.  I am ashamed to say that ve did.  But vhat has this to do vith my vife?”**

**“** **Story is that all this Nazi-science ended up making a bunch of humans who kept passing on little mutations every generation. It might explain what you said about your wife and what she could do.”**

**“That is possible, I suppose.  All I know is that it vas there, in the chemistry betveen us.  I have never known another voman like that.”**

**“So you thought the version of her in our world might be much the same?”**

**“I guess I vas hoping for that.  I thought – she vould feel my need for her, und somehow recognize me, even though she did not know who I vas.”  Saying this out loud was difficult, but it somehow made my pain easier to bear.**

**“Obviously, that didn’t happen."**

**“No, it did not.”  I shrug.  “But it does not matter.  I do not need this version of Linda anymore.”**

**“Yeah, sure.  And I got a bridge in Brooklyn that I can sell you, too.  Tell that to the rest of the world, but not to me.  I know you better.”**

**“Vhy vould I vant a bridge to Brooklyn?”  I ask, genuinely puzzled by this non sequitur.  “I do not even like Brooklyn.”**

**“What, you never heard of idioms?  Anyway, you know what I meant.”**

**“Ja, I guess I do.  There’s nothing left in this vorld for me.  Not this Linda, und –-”  I stop, unable to go any further along that train of thought.**

**“And not Logan, right?”**

**I close my eyes and nod, defeated.  “There is no one here that I vish to love.”**

**“And people say that I’m crazy.  You and Logan could –-”**

**Wearily, I hold up my hand in denial.  “Do not even say it.  He does not vant me anymore than Linda’s doppelgänger does.  He vants his Kurt back, not me.”**

**“But perhaps –”**

**“Halt’s Maul, Vade!  I do not vish to hear it.”**

**“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up!  I didn’t come here to be a matchmaker for you and Logan anyway.  Only to give you a heads up.”  He glances down at my crotch meaningfully.  “I didn’t mean that literally, but it wouldn’t hurt if something else took the hint.”**

**I ignore that last part, only telling him, “I do appreciate that.”**

**He holds up his empty glass.  “How about some more of this stuff?  I think I could get to like it.**

**I go to refill our glasses.  “There is not much more in the bottle.”**

**“Then just bring that bottle over here and we can finish it off together,” he suggests.**

**We pass it back and forth a few times.**

**“Look, I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear, but I’m just crazy enough to say it anyway.  You’ve got to get over Linda.”**

**“Never!  I vill never stop loving her!”  I start to get up from the bed, but he grabs me and pulls me back.  I could teleport.  Or I could plant my fists in his big mouth and stop his words.  I do neither, for somewhere deep inside, I know he speaks the truth.**

**“** **Whoa! Angry Elf alert! Don't get your tail in a knot! You already know this, unless you've got even more bats in your belfry than I’ve got in mine. You wanted revenge. I can dig that. But you've gotten it. Lardo got the Jaws treatment. Now just let it go.”**

**“I can’t.  I won’t.  I’ll always love her.”**

**“** **Sure you will. But unless you're going to take her death out on the whole world, that's done. Over.  Finito. Get it? Your girl is gone. You aren't going to be seeing her again this side of the grave. If you go in for the afterlife schtick, more power to you. You already looked her up here, and you know how that turned out. Accept it, Kraut. Move on.”**

**“It’s not vorth living vithout her.”**

**“** **Bullshit! I mean, I know how it feels, but it's still bullshit. The Wadester isn't going to sit here and feed you a line about finding your happily ever after with somebody else. Maybe you'll have it, maybe not. But the thing is, there are plenty of people out there that still need you around. You fought your skinny ass off to save your world. Go back and keep fighting, not just to die. Or stay here and fight. We need all the help we can get.” He hesitates for a moment, as if deciding if he wants to go on or not. “Logan needs you.”**

**“Nein!  He only hates me.”**

**“I wouldn’t be so sure about Wolfie if I were you.  But even if he does hate your guts, he’s just one man.** **So what? He isn't the be-all and end-all of this world. There are plenty of others that might end up being your pal. Drop those swords and walk away with your tail between your legs, or pick them up and keep doing what you know how to do. Dude, you're a hero, just like me. We help those who can't help themselves,” Wade waves his arm around grandly, “defend the underdog, save the world, and rescue fuzzy little kittens from trees!” He looks at me then, an uncommonly serious light entering into his eyes. “Use your talents to save life, not take it in revenge.”**

**“Und I should listen to all this from a man who sells himself for money?”**

**“Okay, I deserved that.  But I don’t take just anyone’s money.  It depends on what they want me to do.  A guy’s gotta earn a living, ya know?  I can’t buy all these high-tech toys with Food Stamps.  Besides, you don’t have to be like me.  Be an X-Man.”**

**“Logan –”**

**“Fuck Logan!  Well, no, you’ve done that already, haven’t you?  Anyway, he’s not the only game in town.  There are other teams and other leaders.  You can be a whole lot more than a suicidal broken-hearted lover.  It’s time you show us what you’ve got.”**

**I take the bottle roughly from his hands and drink what’s left in one gulp, then tell him, “Fuck you, Vade.”**

**“Now you’re talking!  Are you up for it?”  He stares meaningfully at my drooping penis.**

**“I can be, if you’re serious about this.”**

**“Never more serious in my life, Kraut.  But then, for me, that’s not saying much.”**

**“If that is vhat you vant, I have no problem vith it.  But ve really should have some sort of decent lubricant.  Spit does not work very vell.”**

**“This is a hotel room.  It’s got to have one of those tiny bottles of hand cream around somewhere.”**

**“Ja.  In the bathroom.”**

**“I’ll get it.  Got to use the potty anyway.”**

**And so it is that I am about to fuck Wade.  I hope his asshole is in better shape than the rest of his body.  Even his penis is a mess.  But as long as he can still heal any of the other sorts of damage that might be inflicted on him, I am not really worried about doing any serious harm.**

**He comes back from the bathroom, tosses the hand cream to me, and gets onto the bed on his hands and knees.**

**“Be gentle with me, Kraut.  I’m a trembling virgin.”**

**“Ja, und I am a shrinking violet.  Now be quiet und just feel.  No more smartass remarks,” I tell him as I kneel on the bed and massage his buttocks, trying to avoid the sores and diseased places.  “This is not rape.  It is supposed to feel good.”**

**I spread his cheeks and squeeze some of the cream onto him, then start rubbing a finger against his anus.  “I have done this many times vith my vife, und she has done the same to me vith a strap-on, so I know how to do it.”**

**“You let her fuck you?!”**

**I slap him across the backs of his thighs.  “I have just said that, have I not?  Und I have also fucked Logan a few times.**

**Now be quiet.”**

**“Jawohl, Herr Kraut.”**

**I hit him again, but much harder.   “I can make it hurt if I vant to, Arschloch.  Do not provoke me.”**

**Squeezing more hand cream onto him, I start probing with a finger, gently at first then harder as I feel his muscles relax.  The second finger gives me some trouble, but he takes it.  My cock is not unusually wide, so two fingers are more than enough.  If he can accept that, he can accept me.**

**Using the rest of the cream on my erection, I use a hand to guide myself into him.  As the head slides in, he gasps, but not from pain.**

**“Omigod, Elf!  Yeah!  More!  Oh shit, yeah!”**

**Thus encouraged, I bury myself to the hilt.  He is tight and hot and so very welcoming.  Before I know it, I am thrusting back and forth as fast as I can, my tail around the front of his hips the only thing that keeps me from driving him forward into the headboard.  He bucks hard against me, egging me on with some very inventive curses and demands, while I do the same to him in German.  I have not felt this sort of wild abandon for a long time, and I need it badly.**

**At last, I push so hard that his elbows collapse beneath him, leaving only his ass up in the air, accepting me as eagerly as a cat in heat.  I come hard, still rocking against his ass.  Even before the spasms die away, my hand is reaching around, pulling on his cock roughly while I sink my teeth into his shoulder like a wild animal.   I milk his cock as I might milk a cow, squeezing every last bit of cum out of him.  He flattens on the bed, my weight taking me down on top of him.**

**“Enough,” he gasps.  “No more to give.  The well has done run dry.”**

**I push myself up, disengaging my dick and collapsing next to him.  As I catch my breath, I realize that I did not once think of Linda.  I do not know if that is a good thing, or just a further betrayal of my love for her.**

**We get cleaned up and dressed without a word.  Then Wade looks at me and I look at him, not sure where to go from here.  I do not feel like sleeping nor do I wish to spend any more time in this dismal hotel room.  My eye falls on the scarf I have taken from the apartment where this world’s Linda lives.  I pick it up.**

**“Come, Vade, let me port us out of here und down to the street.”**

**He nods.  I take hold of his arm and in an instant we are standing in the shadows in the alley next to the hotel.**

**I do not expect to see him again, but I do not want to tell him that.**

**“Thank you for trying to varn me.”  I close my eyes and shake my head.  “Sometimes I think you are saner than I am.”**

**“Hey, in an insane world, what else is left for a crazy man to be?”  He gives me a mock punch on the arm.  “G’bye, Kurt.  If you’re ever back in my neck of the woods, look me up.  And think about what I said, huh?**

**“Take care of yourself, Vade.  Und if ve never meet again, you have been a good friend und a good man.  I vill not forget that.”**

**“Aw, shucks,” he says, dragging one foot across the ground and averting his head like an embarrassed child.  He looks up and meets my eyes.  “Same to you and no returns -- Elf.”**

**Then he strides out of the alley and is gone, leaving me standing alone in the darkness.**

**GERMAN TRANSLATION**

**Ja, mein lieber Kraut.                  Yes, my dear Kraut.**

**mein verrückter Freund              my crazy friend**

**Halt's Maul                                  Shut up**

**Arschloch                                    Asshole**

# 

MY LOGURT STORIES  
STORY ARC – Movieverse   
In the Beginning . . .   
After X-2, Kurt is considering what to do next. My slant on how he gets involved in the climax of X-3, then finds himself attracted to Logan despite his own religious issues. They take a very interesting vacation on Cape Cod, in order to spend time together and try to resolve what they want from each other, if anything.   
Please note that this story contains many links to real places on the Cape, but the links don’t always work reliably, so if you want to see them, you may need to copy/paste the URLs.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091204&chapter=1   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040785 

Morning Devotions  
It’s almost 2 years after the Battle of the Golden Gate Bridge. In addition to being an X-Man, Kurt has recently begun teaching classes at the School.   
Please note that this is the original short prologue for this entire story arc, which was written long before “In the Beginning” was even imagined. While the prologue is rather tame as far as sex is concerned, the succeeding stories will more than make up for this lack. Each story can be read alone, but they are better in order. See the AO3 version of Something a Little Different, which includes Morning Devotions as a prolog.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090821 

Something a Little Different  
When Logan wakes Kurt up in the middle of the night, Kurt just figures he wants the usual sex. But tonight, Logan wants something a little different.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090822   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040865   
(AO3 is the combined version of Morning Devotions and this story)

As the Twig is Bent  
Wie der Zweig gebogen wird , so wächst der Baum. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.   
And Herr Grüber has long-range plans for the resulting tree.   
Logan pushes Kurt into revealing some of the dark secrets of his childhood.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090851   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040877 

PRAY FOR US SINNERS  
More secrets, from both Kurt’s past and Logan’s present.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090852   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040902 

With Nothing on My Tongue  
Logan is off somewhere trying to decide what direction he wants his life to take, while Kurt waits anxiously for his return. After several months pass, he is almost ready to give up hope.   
Two very different women help him get through this difficult time, each in her own inimitable way.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090873   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040920 

You Win, Elf  
Logan returns to tell Kurt of his decision.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090894   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040930 

Hell Hath No Fury  
Someone from Logan’s past appears – and that someone plans to take revenge on the one who scorned him .  
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090950   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040948 

 

  
TWO SHORT STORIES WHICH COULD BE EITHER COMIC OR MOVIEVERSE

Let’s Pretend  
Just about any time after Kurt and Logan have been together for a while.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090964   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/965765 

 

Happy Birthday, Elf!  
On a certain day in November, Kurt receives a very special present. Just a bit of fluff. No Sex.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091000   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/989660 

 

  
COMICVERSE – Single stories that fit into X-Men comic issues. If you haven’t read the comic referenced after each title, the story may not make much sense to you.

HOPE X-Force #36   
Just before he dies, Kurt gives Hope a message to deliver to Logan.  
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090809   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/982644 

Revenge! Wolverine #15  
While Logan climbs the mountain to jump off yet again, he is visited by Kurt’s spirit.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090949   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/982648 

 

To Walk Away from Paradise Amazing X-Men: Quest for Nightcrawler #1-5 At the end of this series, we left Kurt sitting on the roof agonizing about having lost his soul. What if Logan didn’t leave him there alone after all? (If you haven’t read my Kurt Darkholme series, some of the references to past happenings in this story may be confusing.)  
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1856817 

 

The Monster Ultimate X-Men Annual #2  
After Rogue tells a supposedly unconscious Kurt that he is truly a monster, Logan tries his best to convince him otherwise..   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090893   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/981587 

 

The Best You Can Hope For Astonishing X-Men # 44-47 & 59-61, X-treme X-Men # 1-13, Age of Apocalypse # 13 & 14, and X-Termination # 1+2  
James Howlett tells about his relationship with young Kurt Waggoner. As he tries to teach the boy what it means to be a hero, young Kurt has a lesson to teach him in return.   
No sex.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091203   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/979462 

COMICVERSE  
KURT DARKHOLME STORY ARC   
Der Doppelgänger Set between Uncanny X-Force #23 and #24  
Kurt Darkholme and Logan end up in bed together.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090999   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091062 

 

Of Angry Elves and Mouthy Mercenaries Set several days after Bobby’s death in UXF #24, and prior to what happened in Deadpool #50-54. Also prior to Betsy and Fantomex’s departure from X-Force in #25.  
Kurt Darkholme and Wade Wilson get to know each other better, among other activities. 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091017   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091097 

 

Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks) Takes place sometime after UXF-26 when they have a night free.  
Logan, Kurt Darkholme, and Deadpool deepen their involvement with each other.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091081   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091306 

 

Vengeance Is Mine Uncanny X-Force #32-34  
After Kurt Darkholme betrays X-Force, he faces a private reckoning of his own . 

 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091156   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091373 

 

Say Very Softly After Astonishing X-Men #59  
Kurt Darkholme and Deadpool have one last fling. 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091183   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091440 

 

The Only Thing   
Set after the end of the X-Termination story arc  
What if Kurt Darkholme survives? 

http://xmen.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091259   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091522

**Author's Note:**

> For any of my readers who enjoy stories involving male/male sex in general, I’ve started a series of ebooks on Amazon that is not fanfiction. It doesn’t involve Logan, Kurt, or any other superheroes, but my two main characters are heroes of a more everyday kind, each in his own way. You can find out more about it at: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J75NJIE and http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M0CZM3G


End file.
